lil' monkey PJ

My pregnancy and preparing to welcome our baby to the world

Last Prenatal Checkup October 26, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Melanie @ 12:24 am

Went to see Dr. B. this afternoon.  Everything was right on track – fundal height, blood pressure, etc…  After all of my anxiety this morning, I had a list of questions to ask her.  Every time I tell her I read something online, I get this look from her and an exclamation of “why do you do that to yourself?!” So after explaining to her today that I actually feel a lot better with the more information I have, even if it’s answers I didn’t want to hear, she felt better about discussing all of my weird and in-depth questions.  As suspected, I ended up feeling so much better afterward.  She even said she would go out to talk to my mom who will be in the waiting room, after E and I go into recovery with the baby.

With how much better I felt after leaving, it just reminded me of how much I like having her as my OB.  I’m so grateful for her care.  She is truly doing the job she was called to do.  I wish she could be our family doctor!


5 Days to Go and the Anxiety is Kicking Back In October 25, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Melanie @ 6:48 pm

I’ve been feeling fairly decent about my upcoming c-section for a while now and unfortunately I’m just not in a good place today.  I’m feeling anxious about the surgery and feeling anger because it has to be this way and this isn’t what I wanted.

I’ve had people try to tell me that c-sections are great because you don’t have to feel anything, your va jay jay stays as normal, etc… I don’t care about any of that!  I would give anything to be able to experience labor.  I wanted to try for a med-free birth but I was open to having an epidural if I felt I needed it, but I wanted to at least try.  I don’t like the idea of some nurse shaving me, having an IV, getting a catheter put in, having a spinal, laying buck naked on a table…. shall I go on?  Thinking about all of it, I can feel my heart rate increasing.  For some reason, it’s all of these things that most people probably wouldn’t even worry about that bother me and I’m not anxious about how the surgery is going to go at all.  I trust my OB and I feel like I’m in good hands and I have faith that baby and I are both going to come out of it doing well.

And then there’s the anger.  I desperately wish I didn’t feel angry.  I’ve scolded myself for not just putting my trust in God through all of this and finding comfort that he is in control.  Unfortunately, I don’t feel much comfort, other than that surgery is going to go well.  I just don’t want this.  I was always excited to experience labor.  I feel that that’s what my body was made to do and I desperately want to give birth vaginally, the way I was meant to.  Strangely, I know that tons of people would be up in my nether regions, giving birth that way, but for some reason that doesn’t bother me and yet having a c-section, similar things to bother me.  I’m terrified that this anger is going to stick around after birth.  I don’t want to take it out on the hospital staff, on my baby, my husband or my family.  I’m worried that all of these feelings are going to increase my chances of ending up with postpartum depression.  I’m hoping that being aware of it will help though.

Sorry for the little rant.  Hopefully by putting it all out in the open, I’ll feel better about everything until Tuesday rolls around and I’ll just be focused on meeting my son.


Hospital Tour October 23, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Melanie @ 9:32 pm

We went to the hospital for our tour tonight.  When we arrived, we were to go into one of the conference rooms and there were binders of info and a pamphlet with our last name on it.  On the front page was out last name, c-section date and the time that we were to be at the hospital.  For starters, our last name was spelled wrong but most importantly, it said our c-section date was November 1st instead of October 30th!  The nurse came in after about 10 minutes so we pointed this out to her and she proceeds to say that they had been unable to find my chart.  Ummm, if you couldn’t find it, then where did you even get the Nov. 1st date from?!

So, we moved right along with all the info she needed to share and a tour of the maternity ward.  I’ve seem their delivery suites before so I already knew what to expect there.  The rooms are quite large and as comfortable as one could expect for a hospital.  She did say that for the dad, some rooms have a couch, some have a fold-out lounge chair and some have a mattress.  Unfortunately we won’t know what we’ll get until we arrive.  Hopefully it’s something E will be able to get some rest on.  There’s a patient kitchen so we can prepare a couple of meals for E so he doesn’t have to eat take-out everyday.  Hopefully when people come visit, they’ll bring him something to eat too.

At the end of the tour, the nurse looked again for my chart and still couldn’t find it.  She didn’t seem too concerned with the fact that they have the date completely wrong but that’s kind of a BIG DETAIL for me!  I asked to have someone call me tomorrow to confirm the date so we’ll see what happens!

UPDATE:  By 12:30 the next day, I hadn’t heard anything so I called the hospital myself.  The nurse said she found my chart but has no idea where it appeared from.  The good news, is they do have my date as the 30th so everything is still on track as planned.


OB Appointment June 28, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Melanie @ 8:43 pm

Yet again, I got a call this morning from my doctor’s office that they’ve made me an appointment for next week with the OB, Dr. A. I sent my boss an email to let him know I’ll have to leave early one day next week and no sooner do I push send, the phone rings again.  It’s the nurse, telling me that my appointment is now this afternoon.  What the?!  So now I walk to my boss’ office and tell him to disregard my email, that I actually have to leave early again today.

E met me at home and drove to the appointment with me.  I walked in and told them who I was and that I had an appointment with Dr. A.  The nurse says no, my appointment will actually be with Dr. B. and she proceeds to apologize for the confusion this morning.  She goes on to explain that Dr. B. saw my chart and said she wanted to see me herself and to call me in today.  Hmmm… hopefully this isn’t a bad thing that I’m now seeing someone different than who I was referred to.

I did all the normal prenatal visit testing and then we got taken into an exam room where we waited for Dr. B.  She came in a few minutes later and in far more detail than yesterday’s doctor, she explained everything.

I do in fact have a 9cm fibroid that’s sitting directly on my cervix and it’s also sitting right at the blood supply to the uterus. She drew pictures to better explain everything which was a big help.  A vaginal delivery at this point is impossible, as the fibroid is blocking baby’s exit route, so I will need to have a c-section.  Also, because the fibroid is sitting on the cervix, there’s a chance that it could try to pass through the cervix, which would start labor.  Because it’s sitting at the blood supply, it causes a uniquely difficult situation.  She explained that I would likely need to have an Interventional Radiologist present because I’m at risk of bleeding out during surgery and an IR would be needed to try to stop it.  Actually, how she worded it was that they need the IR present to save my life after they deliver the baby.  Also, if they can’t stop the bleeding, I may need to have a hysterectomy.

Our local hospital doesn’t staff an IR so I will likely need to go to a hospital about 45 minutes away that’s better equipped for this type of surgery.  This also means that she would need to refer me to another OB that has privileges there.

So here’s where we’re at right now.  She’s going to consult with the other OBs in her practice to try to come up with a game plan and she’s also going to set up an appointment for another ultrasound in 8 weeks that will be performed by an OB so that they know what they’re looking at and will be able to get better details of the situation.  For now, my care will be transferred to her until we know if I need to be referred to someone else.  So I’ll be back in 4 weeks and will hopefully get some more answers then.

This was an emotionally difficult appointment.  Although Dr. B. was meeting me for the first time and having to deliver some difficult news, she was awesome.  She held my hand and showed so much compassion.  I left choking back tears but felt assured that I was in good hands being in her care, for now anyway.

We drove to my parents’ house to share the news with them.  My mom took it particularly hard.  She was never able to have any more children and I know she always hoped for me to have as many babies as I wanted and the best pregnancies possible.  Now I’ve been told I may bleed out on the table, never meet my baby and if I do make it through, I may not be able to have anymore babies.  What an emotional blow.  You don’t think about things like that happening when you’re having a baby.  No one ever said that delivering a baby was a pleasant experience or an easy one but you should be able to easily live through the experience.

We came home tonight and spent most of the night in a daze.  I don’t know what to make of this news and I’m still digesting it.  I’m looking forward to getting more information at out next appointment though.  At least we know about this now and Dr. B has time to come up with a plan and put together a team to make sure I will have the best chances possible.


No news is good news, but what about when you get news? June 27, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Melanie @ 5:21 pm

First thing this morning while at work, my doctor’s office called and asked if I can come in this afternoon to see the doctor and go over my ultrasound results.  They usually wait until your next appointment to go over the results unless they’ve found something wrong.  Also, I go to a maternity clinic where 14 doctors all put in half days, one day a week.  I saw my doctor yesterday so this is a completely different doctor I’ve never seen before that wants me to come in.  The nurse tries reassuring me that it’s nothing serious so not to worry (ya right, easier said than done!).  I had to go to my boss and tell him I had to leave early and luckily he was understanding about it.

E met me at the clinic and the 10 minutes we had to wait seemed like 60.  The clinic was also about to close, which made it seem that much more scary that we were called in this late in the day.  We were taken into one of the exam rooms where we continued to wait.  We just sat there giving each other these worried glances and E tried calming me by telling me to listen to what the nurse had said this morning on the phone.

And then the doctor walked in and my stomach seemed to jump and end up in my throat.  While walking through the door, he’s reviewing my chart and barely looking up from his clipboard.  He glanced up for a moment and said that they found a fibroid during my ultrasound but that it’s small.  He pointed to a stethoscope sitting on the table and said it was about the size of the end of that, so not a big deal.  He glances back down at my chart and retracts his statement, saying no, it’s a little bigger than that, and again, no, it’s actually about 9 cms in diameter.  It went from being 3cms to 9 cms in less than a minute!  He then explained that it was sitting on my cervix and he’s never seen anything like it so he’s not comfortable answering any questions about it.  He’s going to refer me to an OB.  Since the office is now closed, the requisition will be sent tomorrow and I’ll likely get an appointment in a week or two.

Fibroids aren’t typically a big deal but he’s never seen anything like this, so we’re really unsure what to make of this right now.  And now we have nothing to do but sit and wait for an appointment with the OB.  It was weird to be called into the office to be given news but really un-detailed news and not understanding the news you got at all.  Hopefully we get in to see the OB quickly so that we don’t have to wonder what all of this means for too long.  In the meantime, we’ll just pray that it’s nothing to worry about.


20 Week Ultrasound June 26, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Melanie @ 2:00 pm

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning.  Just your usual prenatal checkup… blood pressure, protein test, listen to the heartbeat, etc.  They use a floor-stand digital blood pressure monitor and my blood pressure was pretty high.  So my doctor then used the regular old fashioned kind with the cuff and stethoscope and then my BP was just fine.  Phew!

The whole time I was waiting to be seen by my doctor and then in the car afterward, I was guzzling water, trying to have a full bladder for my ultrasound appointment that came up next.  Can I just say that ultrasounds are cruel and unusual punishment for a pregnant woman?  We already go pee every 30 minutes and now they want us to walk around with full bladders.  So I get to the waiting room for my ultrasound and I can barely stand it anymore.  I run to the bathroom and try to relieve a little bit of my bladder.  This is not an easy task!  I’m the kinda girl that when I go, I go and there’s no stopping it! Well, mission accomplished and I go back and continue to wait.

The radiologist finally calls me in.  I have to say that this whole system is just ridiculous.  They don’t allow your spouse to come in with you.  They want the room quiet and treat you like you and your husband must act like children and won’t sit there quietly while they do all of their measurements.  I tried asking if he could come in anyway but was shut down very quickly.  So I lay down and the radiologist takes a couple of quick pictures of my lower abdomen and then he tells me I can go empty my bladder.  Why didn’t someone tell me 5 minutes ago that I would have been able to do this, rather than making me struggle to make myself stop mid-pee?!  Anyway, I went back in and laid there while he continued to do his scan and me not getting to see a darn thing.

After a half hour or so, he calls E in.  He turns the screen so we can see and at this point the baby just has it’s back facing us.  We don’t even get a glimpse of baby’s face.  But baby is still there with a good strong heartbeat, so that’s still reassuring.  The radiologist did point out the baby’s heart and then showed us the bladder (which I thought was odd but he knew I wanted to know what the sex of our baby was).  I’m sure that I saw a penis directly in line with the bladder!  We’ll have to wait until next week to be able to find out the sex for sure though 😦

We head back out to reception where we pay $12 for pictures.  The radiologist brings out the CD and we quickly go home to view the pictures.  Surely in the 30 minutes he was taking pictures, he saw more than we did at the very end.  Well, we get home and put the CD in the DVD player so we can view the pics on the big screen and we get a nice picture of baby’s spine and 3 more pictures that show absolutely nothing.  They charged us $12 for this!  I swear this place is determined to make the experience of having a baby as unpleasant as possible.  These little things like seeing our baby, they take that away from you.  It was so disappointing.


1st Trimester Woes April 7, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Melanie @ 10:36 pm

If anyone ever said that being pregnant is glamorous, they definitely have never experienced it for themselves.  My husband will never look at me the same….  I’ll spare you the details though.

When it comes to 1st tri symptoms, I’ve been pretty fortunate.  I’ve had waves of nausea but have managed to avoid actually vomiting thus far. I have a container of nuts, raisins and craisins on my nightstand that I try to eat a handful of before I go to sleep.  I’ve heard that eating a snack that’s high in protein right before bed helps with the nausea, so why not try it, right?  I also pour half a glass of gingerale so that when I wake up in the middle of the night and in the morning, it’s flat and helps calm the tummy.  And of course, there’s the soda crackers that I eat in the morning.  If I never eat another soda cracker in my life, it would be fine by me!

As I said, I have managed to avoid vomiting so far, but that’s not to say I haven’t had to experience some other un-pleasantries.  My worst experience has been after enjoying a bowl of buttery popcorn.  I ended up sick all night after that and it took me several months to attempt to eat popcorn again.  Luckily, it was with no side effects by that point.  No other foods upset me the way the popcorn did but my food aversions have varied from day to day.  Heck, sometimes I can eat something for lunch and then be totally turned off by the same thing that evening.  There’s just no way of knowing.

I think the last thing to share about my 1st tri would be the baby bump.  It shouldn’t have even existed during the 1st tri but it appeared fast and furious and there was just no way of hiding it!  I tried for as long as I could but it involved wearing a lot of sweaters to try to cover it.  I think I was in maternity pants before I was even 12 weeks!  Hopefully this is not an indication of me growing into a blimp by the time I’m 9 months!